If you haven’t heard about the dead cat that was transformed into a helicopter, you probably just shat because that’s the first time you’ve heard about the dead cat that was transformed into a helicopter.
After his cat was killed by a car, artist Bart Jansen turned him into the Orvillecopter, a remote-controlled, taxidermied flying cat. That is correct… a dead cat helicopter.
I know, Bill. I know.
Just take a moment to watch a bit of Jansen’s Orvillecopter video demonstration:
Hey Bart Jansen, you know how sometimes artists get pegged as weirdos? You’re the reason. OK, maybe just part of the reason.
Remember when that one artist stuffed a dead Asian and turned him into a coffee table?
Do I think it’s cruel in some way to the cat for Jansen to have turned its corpse into a helicopter? Nope. I think it’s hilarious, actually. How many cats (or dogs or elephants or even humans) get to leave behind this kind of legacy? While most dead animals are rotting in someone’s backyard or on the side of a highway, Orville is flying high like a majestic eagle. A hairy majestic eagle with a horrifying, wide-eyed dead cat expression.
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!
Actually, thanks to the Orvillecopter, I think the 2012-13 NFL season just got a whole lot more exciting.
A dead cat flyover during the National Anthem? Guaranteed chills.
This cat-o-copter project got me thinking about other amazing ways we can transform dead stuff into badass things. (I think we can all agree that a helicopter is badass, yes?) Jansen’s artwork also evoked thoughts of my own mortality. How will I be remembered? In 200 years, will my body be soaring over football stadiums while people chant my name and weep?
No way. I dare not dream that big. My wish is simple, and I hope my wife is reading this. After all, Internet law states that anything drunkenly banged out on a website is legally binding, so this is officially my Last Will and Testament. When I die, I want my head to be stuffed and attached to the front of a semi-trailer truck like the Green Goblin face in that movie Maximum Overdrive.
Oh, son of a bitch.
Everyone knows that a corpse — feline, rodent, human, whatever — is completely useless. (10 out of 10 necrophiliacs disagree.) This world needs more innovative souls like Bart Jansen to make something out of nothing. So let’s help him out. What are some other dead things we could turn into awesome things?
The Dead Deer Cycle
The blood makes it extra badass.
The Dead Rabbit Phone
“I can hear you just fine, but the rabbit ball smell is unbearable. Goodbye.”
The Dead Hooker Pogo Stick
“Now I can ride her for free! Weeeeeee!!!”
The Too Soon Toaster
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-TOAST!
Well, that last one officially punched my ticket to hell, so I think my work here is done.
What dead things would you like to see turned into super awesome badass things? Let me know in the comments!