New Children’s Books Offer DARK KNIGHT RISES Spoilers

A new series of I Can Read! children’s books from HarperCollins seems to offer minor The Dark Knight Rises spoilers.

The Dark Knight Rises: Batman Versus Bane, The Dark Knight Rises: I Am Bane and The Dark Knight Rises: Batman Versus Catwoman, all for ages 3-4 and up, offer new details about the Caped Crusader’s interactions with two of the new villains (assuming Catwoman is a villain) from the third and final installment of director Christopher Nolan’s Batman film series.

This is already better than 90 percent of all movie plots.


Seriously. These are itty bitty spoilers.

The Batman Versus Bane and I Am Bane books lay out two key sequences in the movie. In one, Bane has overtaken the Gotham Stock Exchange and is attempting to gain access to the institution’s computer system and steal from the city’s wealthiest inhabitants. Batman pursues Bane and his mercenaries in a motorcycle chase and uses an EMP gun to take them down.

The cartoonist was depressed when he drew this, hence Batman’s exaggerated frown.

In another sequence, Bane arrives in Gotham with a plan to “destroy Gotham City.” In a show of power, Bane kidnaps Commissioner Gordon and takes him to his hideout beneath the city. A seriously injured Gordon escapes Bane’s clutches and is taken to the hospital, where he is visited by Batman. Gordon tells Batman where Bane is hiding, and the Dark Knight tracks the villain down. After a seemingly brutal fight, Batman is left unconscious and Bane escapes, according to the book.

Seriously, these books are doing nothing to temper my excitement for this movie.

The Batman Versus Catwoman book isn’t quite as interesting, but it does reveal that Bruce Wayne’s first experience with Catwoman is when the villain’s alter ego, Selina Kyle, dresses as a maid and steals a necklace that belonged to Wayne’s deceased mother.

Also, piecing together information gleaned from the film’s trailers, these books, and various other sources, it’s becoming clear that Nolan is focusing on an Occupy Gotham theme. Bane is attempting to convince the city’s residents to rise up and “take control” of Gotham. Meanwhile, Kyle tells Wayne that the city’s wealthiest are “all going to wonder how you ever thought you could live so large and leave so little for the rest of us.”

I wonder what the Tea Party will think about this movie.

“Can Batman get me laid? No? Then what kind of superhero is he?”

Quick question: why should a three-year-old be reading about vicious, brutal fights and kidnappings? I understand trying to engage potential Batman fans early and create a psychological connection so they’ll want to watch the shit out of these movies when they’re old enough, but this seems ill-fitting. Aside from the whole appropriateness argument, is a story about a plot to overtake the Stock Exchange really engaging to a preschooler?

Still, if I had a nickel for every adult movie that was spoiled by a children’s book…

“…and then Sharon Stone’s husband was attacked by a Komodo dragon, and she went batshit insane. The end.”

And then there was this one…

“They never found patient zero, and everyone choked on their swollen, pus-filled tongue sores and died. Night, night, honey.”

What do you think? Too many details revealed? Any need for children’s books based on movies children shouldn’t see? Leave your thoughts in the comments.


Leave a Reply