Published on December 20th, 2012 | by Robert Isenberg1
Things To Do Before The Mayan Apocalypse
The Mayan Apocalypse will occur tomorrow, Friday, Dec. 21, 2012. It’s a fact. Here are some things to do before it happens.
- Buy milk.
- Feed cats.
- Make dip for Steelers party.
- Eat entire burnt almond tort.
- Send drunken texts to Claire Danes (phone number?).
- Bungee jump.
- Learn that weird knife game from Alien.
- More orgy.
- Wreck a hotel room (with katana?).
- Watch every Bond film… in order.
- Ride a horse.
- See if it’s possible to jump from one horse to another without any training or preparation.
- Barge into random courthouse (on horse). Shout: “Objection, your honor!”
- Bubbler, whiskey shots, deep-tissue massage, repeat.
- Yell “Fire!” in movie theater. Hand out free candy to fleeing patrons, insisting you actually said, “Twizzlers!”
- Streak in mall (slowly?).
What do you plan to do before the Mayan Apocalypse?