Vagina Tombstone: Because I’m Dead And I Said So
Great news, Internet: I’ve found the perfect story to share with your extended family when there’s a lull in conversation around the Thanksgiving table this year.
(I am, of course, assuming you want to ruin the holidays for everyone.)
Folks, I’d like you to meet Milan Marinkovic.
HI, MILAN.
Milan is resident of Belgrade, Serbia, a fan of leather ball caps, and the most romantic motherscratcher this side of Tuesday. Because Milan fulfilled his late wife’s dying wish…to have the likeness of her vagina etched onto her tombstone.
And now I’d like to pause to secure Act Classy’s place on the first page of Google search results for “vagina tombstone.”
“You tell ‘em I’M comin’, and labia’s comin’ with me, you hear? LABIA’S COMIN’ WITH ME!”
It seems that Milan’s wife, Milena, was either 1) incredibly insecure, 2) a huge Georgia O’Keefe fan, or 3) aiming to become the most popular broad in the graveyard, because she left detailed instructions (including photographs!) for her husband so that he could bring the world’s most unnecessary tombstone engraving to its fruition. Milena’s motive was explained in a letter to her husband: “I don’t want you chasing other women. This way you will always remember me.”
Ah, yes. Her vagina will be remembered as it lived: cold, unyielding, and prone to erosion.
Milan is quite a sport, though, because even though his wife’s final wishes were HELLA EMBARRASSING and basically qualified as posthumous cockblocking, he went ahead with it anyway, finally tracking down a stonecutter who wouldn’t mind gettin’ clammy wit’ it on a giant slab of granite. As for the final product? Take a look:
NAILED IT.
About the Author
Jive Turkey Jive Turkey lives in Pittsburgh, PA where she believes in the power of her dreams. A whimsical soul who was once called "just plain nasty" by an employee of the New Jersey DMV, Jive Turkey works as an actor, blogger (Jive Turkey, MamaPop, Pay it Forward), and playwright to support her passion for secretarial work. Her favorite pastimes include motherhood, frenching, and fostering a healthy grudge against the Sears Portrait Studio. She sincerely hopes you have a bitchin' summer.
Related Posts
My God, What Have We Done: The Best Of Act Classy 2012 →
RoundTable Thursday, January 10, 2012: Resolutions, White House Sharts, and Bieber Intervention →
Debt Ceiling News: Republicans Apparently Unclear on The Way Money Works →
Comments