Five Etsy Sellers Affected by Blocking the Sale of Drugs and Human Remains
Etsy announced on Saturday that it has revised its policies. Sellers primarily affected by the changes are people who sell “tobacco, hazardous materials, and body parts.” It’s worth noting that teeth and hair are still okay. Which…ew. But what this means for most affected sellers is that people can’t claim to sell anything that claims to be a cure or relief of a health condition, can’t sell any drug paraphernalia, and can’t sell body parts.
The cures and relief restrictions at least can probably be worked around by carefully rewording the descriptions of the items for sale. But sellers are still pretty upset. Below are some of the displaced.
Beavis’ Booger Balls
No one should have to explain their art, but Etsy seller Beavis’ shop was closed down for selling Booger Balls. On the crafty site, you can find things like jewelry made out of hair, but boogers crossed some kind of line. For $10 – $50, depending on your needs, you could commission a handmade booger ball from Beavis. The balls could be used for anything from bullion to Christmas tree ornaments. Now you’re on your own.
Cathy’s Crushed Cans
Cathy fell victim to the policy against drug paraphernalia. Though she argued that her crushed cans were folk art, the staff at Etsy was familiar with the weed-smoking apparatuses that people make out of desperation.
Heidi’s Hookers
Heidi Fleiss has had a rough time making ends meet since the heyday of the 90s. She had taken to Etsy after plans to open a brothel in Nevada fell through. But her complete lack of discretion required Etsy to say, “Dude. Come on.”
Yanni’s Yarn Bombs
Seller Yanni tried to explain that his yarn bombs weren’t actual bombs, but spontaneous works of craft on urban structures that gave chilly parking meters and fences sweaters, the poor things. Etsy wasn’t trying to hear it, though, because that dude’s name was Yanni and fuck anyone with that name.
Peggy’s Percocet
Much like with Heidi Fleiss, Peggy was quickly shut down for a) selling Percocet illegally and b) being too stupid to live.
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About the Author
kdiddy kdiddy is a lifelong Pittsburgher and always has trouble readings people’s facial expressions when she tells them that. She’s been a writer since somewhere around second grade, when she penned a novella about a monster who attacked her suburb, devoured all of the kids in her Catholic school, and put a hurt on the supply of hot dogs in the cafeteria. Since that auspicious beginning, she’s earned a few fancy-pants writing degrees and vomited her words in print and online (kdiddy.org, MamaPop.com). Her hobbies include wife-ing, mothering, showing hoes no love, carbs, and candy.
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