Weekly News Flash: Things You Can’t Even Afford to Look At
The following news stories are true. Jokes have been added where inappropriate because the author is a dick.
Bring me the head of Chewbacca the Wookie! I’m sorry, how much? Ah. I will settle for the thumb of C-3PO!
The remainder of Mr. The Wookie and his hetero life partner.
In a move that redefines the meaning of “disposable income,” a Star Wars mega-fan has purchased a genuine Chewbacca headpiece used on screen in the original films for $172,000 at auction. According to the Dreier Collection, this is the “finest full costume headpiece of Chewbacca from the original trilogy in private hands.”
Chewbacca was, of course, the giant furry creature who accompanied Han Solo on all his non-solo adventuring in the Star Wars films. There is no indication as to whether wearing a genuine Chewbacca mask while watching the films will enhance one’s viewing experience, but I suppose the only way to find out is to be ridiculously wealthy.
The identity of the auction’s winner has not been revealed, but it has been reported that no beverages of any kind will be allowed near the mask to avoid people spitting liquid everywhere when they are told how much it cost.
Guaranteed Pre-Blown
In other stuff-being-sold-at-auction-that-costs-way-too-much-to-actually-use-as-intended news, a one of a kind Legend of Zelda prototype cartridge for the Nintendo Entertainment System is up for auction on eBay, starting at $150,000.
Worth more than my house.
This comes with a sealed mint copy of the retail version of Zelda, which–if it were ever opened and played–would be worth about $15. Personally, I cannot imagine buying this unless I had some sort of museum dedicated to things that are yellow — like the skull of Homer Simpson, or the hat of the guy who kidnaps monkeys, or the sun.
That’s it for this week! Until next time, I am selling my collection of The Making of Flipper the Movie: The Pinball Game trading cards. Please post your bids in the comments section below.
About the Author
Fred Betzner Fred Betzner spends his days silently staring out of windows in his castle, Le Château de Kangourou, and cursing his ill fate in severely broken French. He is considering changing his name to Molly.
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