Published on July 13th, 2012 | by Molly Karrasch1
Thirteen Facts About Friday the 13th (Yes, We’ll Call Them “Facts”)
#1 I’ve never seen Friday the 13th. I KNOW. Please remember, I told you very early on that I’ve never seen most of the things you love, so no more angry letters, y’all!
#2 Lots of people are afraid of Friday the 13th. Like 17-21 million people.
#3 The fear of Friday the 13th is called friggatriskaidekaphobia, triskaidekaphobia, or paraskevidekatriaphobia. I can’t say those words. Millions of people are walking around suffering from something they probably can’t pronounce. That is just devastating.
#4 Julia Child died on Friday the 13th. And Tupac. So, I think Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg probably will too.
#5 Some people are so afraid of Friday the 13th, they change their routine or adjust their plans or just don’t get out of bed. In turn, there are less traffic accidents, fires, and thefts on this day. This is a fact from the Internet.
#6 I always forget it’s Friday the 13th. I actually never know what day it is anymore. I own six calendars! Help me!
#7 According to Wikipedia (as per usual), on April 19, 2029, the asteroid 99942 Apophis will make a close encounter with the planet Earth. “Closer than the orbits of communication satellites.” So, good luck with the cell phone/computer/Keurig in your brain on that day, cause service is gonna SUCK.
#8 They killed a real snake in Friday the 13th. It wasn’t scripted, they just decided to do it! Ah, nineteen hundred and eighty. Movie was filmed in 1979 and PETA was founded in March 1980. They really JUST slipped in under the wire.
#10 Things you shouldn’t do on a Friday (so I’m assuming especially not on a Friday the 13th): Change your bed linens, cut your fingernails, start a trip, begin a business deal or new job, or open a new play. In short, continue to be the lazy, disgusting slob that you are. Oh, and don’t get married. Not that anyone would have you with those fingernails and filthy bed sheets.
#11 Wean your child on a Friday, apparently. I say wait for a Friday the 13th, just for funsies and then remind your child every Friday the 13th thereafter for the rest of your mutual lives. It will be a fun holiday for you and the worst day of your child’s month every once in awhile.
#13 I’m in a play about depression and anxiety and an escaped tiger tonight. And I really needed to change my sheets and cut my nails and do some business, BUT I’M SCARED OF ALL THAT NOW. More scared of cutting my fingernails than getting mauled by a couch tiger.