Pop Culture

Published on July 17th, 2012 | by Brad Stephenson

2

Critic Marshall Fine Receives Death Threats For Negative ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Review

What do you get when you cross movie critic Marshall Fine’s negative review of The Dark Knight Rises with Internet fanboys? Death threats, apparently.

Yyyyeeeaaaa, bitch! It’s about to get LAN up in this piece!

For most of the day on Monday, the day the review embargo for The Dark Knight Rises was lifted by Warner Bros., the film enjoyed an impressive 100 percent “fresh” on movie review aggregation site RottenTomatoes.com. For those unfamiliar with the Rotten Tomatoes system, films can receive either “fresh” or “rotten” votes based on critic reviews. It’s incredibly difficult for a film to score a 100 percent fresh rating — essentially, every major critic plus a couple hundred more need to all like it — and mainstream movies rarely ever get a perfect grade. Honestly, it was a triumph for The Dark Knight Rises to sit on this pedestal for as long as it did.

And then along came poor Marshall Fine.

“Hey fellow critics, we’re all posting bad reviews of Batman, right? We all agreed. You aren’t just pranking me again like when you tricked me into writing that glowing review of ‘Larry Crowne,’ right? OK, here goes.”

Marshall Fine will forever go down in history as the first critic to post a negative review of The Dark Knight Rises, one of the most anticipated films of all time, and his review was picked up by Rotten Tomatoes. Almost the instant that little rotten tomato showed up to tarnish Batman’s perfect score, the film’s rabid fanbase — a bit premature since very few, if any, of them had actually seen the movie — attacked Fine in the review’s comment section. Some comments, which were wisely deleted by Rotten Tomatoes, went so far as to call for Fine’s death.

By the end of the day, the review had nearly 1,000 comments and Fine’s own website, Hollywood & Fine (sounds like a fictional Three Stooges endeavor, but I assure you it’s real), had pulled the review in favor of a polite “nobody’s home” message.

“We’re sorry. Marshall Fine isn’t here right now. He’s being clubbed to death with a rolled up first edition of Detective Comics #27.”

By the way, this is what remained of Fine’s review site as of 10:45 PM Eastern Monday night:

Chomp, chomp. This alligator just ate your webpage.

And here is just a sampling of the nasty comments left on Fine’s review page:

R.I.P. Marshall Fine

Come on, this is a bit harsh. Look at the guy’s picture. If anyone wants Marshall Fine dead, it’s Marshall Fine.

I knew there’d be a contrarian troll or hipster somewhere to taint the film’s perfect 100% fresh rating.

That’s right. Marshall Fine, hipster.

Need I remind you?

Eat my boogers, dude.

Well, now, this one I agree with.

This guy smells worse than Billy Joel’s shower drain.

OK, I added that one. But only because Act Classy recently promised its Facebook fans that we’d rank number one for the phrase “Billy Joel’s shower drain,” and goddammit, we’re going to do it!

I give you my permission to die!

Oh, clever. A quote from the movie. Won’t you look like an asshole if the “permission to die” line doesn’t make the final cut?

I am going to destroy Hollywood & Fine.

Have you seen the website? It was destroyed the moment it went live.

LOL at all these Christopher Nolan dicksuckers… And with that being said, I can’t wait to see this movie.

Now, this is just confusing. I guess he was just excited to see a roomful of Nolan dicksuckers like himself? You know how you go to a party and you just can’t wait to blow Christopher Nolan, but you’re also nervous because you’re afraid you’re the only one. And then you get there and EVERYONE is blowing Nolan. Maybe this is like that.

And finally…

I think we’ve effectively taught this man a lesson on the pitfalls of having an opinion.

This last comment is spot on. See, I am more excited about The Dark Knight Rises than I have been for a film in a long, long time. I absolutely loved both of Nolan’s previous Batman films, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, and I was a featured extra when Rises shot in Pittsburgh, PA. In fact, I already have tickets to see the movie three times on opening day. Ridiculous, I know, but this is my Return of the Jedi, though I hope Rises is a better finale than was Jedi.

True story: I’ve chatted with Anthony Daniels twice now, and on one occasion, he performed scenes from “The Phantom Menace” on his knees in his office. No, he wasn’t going down on me. Shut up.

As hardcore as I’m feeling about this movie, I cannot possibly bring myself to want to beat Fine “with a thick rubber hose into a coma,” as one commenter so eloquently quipped. When did fandom become hateful to the point of leveling death threats against someone whose opinion differs from your own? If a few reviews out of hundreds are negative, it will not impact my personal opinion of The Dark Knight Rises in any way. And I certainly won’t form that opinion without having seen the movie. I’ve loved everything Nolan has done so far, and I consider myself a fanboy, I guess, but I am not going to rank Rises as the greatest film of all time before my ass is even in a theater seat.

Also, please allow me to weigh in on which film I think will win the battle of The Avengers versus The Dark Knight Rises for the titles of Best Summer Movie 2012 and biggest moneymaker ever. Oh… no, wait… I don’t give a shit. The Avengers was an absolute blast, and Joss Whedon handled the characters and action perfectly. If The Dark Knight Rises is even half as good as I expect it to be, having already experienced the glory of The Avengers, this will be one of the greatest movie summers of all time, in my opinion.

OPINION! I said opinion! Why are you setting me on fire?

Son of a bitch.

What do you think creates such rage in fanboys? Too much Monster drink and not enough vagina? Sound off in the comments. You can even make death threats. I won’t delete them like those pussies over at Rotten Tomatoes.

Tags: Dark Knight Rises, featured, Hollywood & Fine, Marshall Fine, Rotten Tomatoes

About the Author

Brad Stephenson Brad Stephenson is a Pittsburgh-based writer, actor, director, chupacabra hunter, and father. His work has been featured in various print and online publications, including MamaPop.com and PopCityMedia.com. Brad doesn't care how many pamphlets you send him. He will never believe that Restless Leg Syndrome is a real thing. Suck it up and quit moving your damn legs so much... he's trying to sleep. Also, Brad really likes burgers and pizza.

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